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Relationships that last
By Guy Mclaren
Relationships that last seem to have a few things in common I have noticed over the years. Relationships that last are in the minority. A survey done at a school recently showed that 2 in 10 children still shared a home with their own parents who were not divorced. A direct correlation between the children of bad relationships and rebellion is also possible to prove. Very few of the children in stable relationships felt the need to act out. Religion was not a factor in relationships that lasted. In fact religious differences are more likely to create problems than solve them. In our relationshiop we have a few rules that make a difference. These rules may seem silly but they have stood us in good stead. 1. Never ever refer back to a previous argument, crime against the marriage in a fight. What's in the past is in the past. That fight was resolved then. 2. Never say the D word (Divorce). This is the start of the road to ruin. If Divorce is an option then those pretty vows of love you made at the wedding were not really vows, mainly because you have an out. 3. Tell each other you love each other very day. I may be pissed at you, I may not like you very much right now, but I still love you. Remember that. 4. Never go to bed angry... Bulldust, this is impossible, rather create a code for I am pissed at you but I am still in love with you. We sleep with our legs cuddling each other when we are angry. 5. Talk... Never shy away from an issue. Talk, If you talk, you may yell, but always keep talking till the issue is resolved. Once you have reached agreement that argument is over. It is history refer to rule 1. 6. Always allow ME Time. Your husband or wife should have time to spend with their friends. A regular boys night out, or ladies night is essential to the stability of a relationship. If you cannot trust that your partner will come home, you have a problem Having said that there are relationships that are toxic. Abusive people rarely change. If violence is an issue, walk away and never look back. A man or woman may stray once because well as they say stuff happens. Straying once could mean a one night stand because stuff happens. Twice is a habit. Three times means they are actively seeking. This is a relationship killer. Mostly you need a sense of humour. You need to understand that every relation ship is mixed except of course gay same race ones. I am in a mixed relationship,she has titties, I don't (well that too is debatable, but you get the picture right) She has her own mind and some stuff I do, she doesn't like, some stuff she does will grate on my nerves. This is the human condition. Laugh, love and commit.
Guy McLaren has been married for ever(OK, only 19 years) He is a photographer and web developer based in Nelspruit, Mpumalanga and Pretoria, Gauteng South Africa
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Guy is a wedding photographer
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One of the glories of relationships, good or bad, is that they transcend 'rules'. If something has to be driven or controlled by rules, there is a problem.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Too many rules yes, but basic ones like ours have their purpose. Works for us.
Presumably if you break a Rule this should immediately be brought up under Rule No.5? Edward de Bono, in one of his books, suggested "Po" as a portmanteau word to be used by either party to immediately suspend hostilities. The meaning? Words to the effect of "I hear what you say, I need time to react, we need to talk later, I love you"
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
de Bono had a point
It's nice to have you back writing thought provoking intels, Guy.
Keep up the good work.
Best wishes.
Frederick
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